Planning Your Elopement
GUIDE
Hey There!
WELCOME
There aren’t many couples brave enough to consider eloping instead of having a big traditional wedding.
SO IF YOU’RE READING THIS, CONGRATS ON BEING PRETTY AWESOME.
Eloping means that all of the wedding day choices you have to make, are yours entirely. There are no rules. You can truly make your day any adventure you want—it can be a day that reflects the two of you instead of being focused on everyone else’s needs, opinions, and expectations.
All of this freedom to plan your dream day can feel a bit overwhelming.
So I’ve put together this Ultimate Elopement Planning Guide & Checklist to help guide you through the planning process!
- Nelly
But First Let’s Go Over
SOME FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
WHAT’S AN ELOPEMENT?
An “elopement” is defined by intentionally focusing your wedding day on YOU TWO (the couple).
HOW MUCH DOES AN ELOPEMENT COST?
The U.S. national average for a traditional wedding is $34,000, but you can have an incredibly rad elopement for less than half of that. Expect to spend 50-80% of your budget on photography and the rest on travel, attire, rings, flowers, hair & makeup, an officiant, food, activities, and your marriage license.
HOW LONG DO I NEED TO PLAN?
Couples can successfully plan incredible elopements anywhere from 2 years out to 1 week out.
The average length of planning time is about 4-10 months. This gives you time to book flights at good prices and find the best lodging.
CAN OTHER PEOPLE COME?
If you have close family & friends that are on board with your vision and want to support & celebrate with you—go for it. Elopements with 25 people can still have the same vibe as a 2-person elopement.
5 Stages of Elopement Planning
Elopement planning is not necessarily a linear process with clear, consecutive steps. It happens in stages. As with a road trip, there are many ways to the destination—but if you feel lost, follow this guide.
DREAM + BRAINSTORM
Come up with an overall vision for your day— including what general part of the world & time of year you’d like to elope.
RESEARCH + CONSIDER LOGISTICS
Start to make that vision come to life by researching logistics to find out what’s possible.
MAKE CHOICES + START BOOKING
Set some things into stone by picking your ideal location to elope. Book nearby lodging and arrange your transportation.
FINALIZE DETAILS + GET READY
Finalize the rest of your vendors, purchase your attire, plan activities, and develop a timeline.
HAVE THE BEST ELOPEMENT DAY!
Experience your vision come to life and soak in every moment of your incredible elopement day!
STAGE 1
DREAM + BRAINSTORM
DREAM & BRAINSTORM
All the best plans start with a quality brainstorming session. One of the best things about eloping is that you can truly go to the most awe-inspiring places in the world to say your vows.
So... if you could go anywhere in the world to get married... where would you GO?
The goal of the dreaming & brainstorming stage is to form an overall vision for your day including a general area of the world and time of year you would like to elope.
HOW TO BRAINSTORM
GET IN A RELAXED SPACE
The best way to dream & brainstorm is to sit down with your partner some place comfortable and imagine your perfect elopement day from start to finish. Try doing it on your favorite date night, or cuddled up at home with your favorite drink!
KEEP AN OPEN MIND
The dreaming & brainstorming stage is not about getting overwhelmed in details, what’s possible or not, or what’s realistic.
It’s ok to keep your ideas pretty general. Have fun imagining all the possibilities!
YOU CAN FIND INSPIRATION ANYWHERE
To help yourself plan, get inspired, and excited about new ideas use Pinterest, Instagram, travel guides, books, Google Earth Pro or maps.
Questions To Ask Yourself
During The Brainstorming Stage
-WHAT IS THE OVERALL MEANING AND INTENTION OF YOUR DAY?
Is this day just for the two of you? Do others play a role in your day? What does the scenery look like? Are you in the mountains, desert, on a cliff, in a forest, in front of a waterfall, or on the beach?
-WHAT SEASON IS IT?
Do you prefer cold or warm weather? Do you imagine there being snow, or fall colors? Do you two enjoy hot or cold weather?
-HOW MUCH TIME ARE YOU ABLE TO USE FOR THE TRIP?
Is the elopement day part of a larger trip or combined with your honeymoon? How much time are you able to take off from work?
-WILL IT JUST BE THE TWO OF YOU OR WILL THERE BE OTHERS?
This will help determine any permits you will need or accessibility concerns.
-WHAT DOES THE CEREMONY LOOK LIKE?
Are there important cultural or religious traditions you’d like to incorporate into the ceremony?
-WHAT DO YOU WANT TO WEAR?
A dress or suit? Something more casual? Are you wearing shoes - or not? If it’s cold, will you need to wear extra layers? What footwear do you need?
-WHAT ACTIVITIES DO YOU SEE YOURSELVES DOING?
These can be activities that you enjoy doing together or ones you’ve never tried before. Hiking, stargazing, stand up paddleboarding, etc?
Do you have a vision of what your day looks like now?
However fuzzy it is, that is a great place to start!
STAGE 2
RESEARCH & LOGISTICS
RESEARCH & LOGISTICS
Once you’ve come up with the overall vision for your day, Stage 2 is all about digging deep into research and figuring out what’s feasible.
Your goal with this research is to make your adventure elopement vision a reality in the best way possible. This will allow you to start finalizing details.
WHAT IF I HATE RESEARCHING?
Don’t worry! This isn’t a term paper—this is fun!
Just like with Stage 1, I suggest creating a relaxed and fun environment to enjoy this process. Sit on your patio or couch with your laptops or phones—or go hang out in the travel book section of a bookstore after a coffee date and enjoy.
And if you get stuck, remember there are lots of people you could hire to help you (like a wedding planner, a local guide, etc).
As an elopement photographer , Stage 2 tends to be where I can help couples the most with their planning process. I’d be happy to help you!
HOW TO RESEARCH
DIG DEEP
Do as much research as possible, and dig as deep as you can. It’s better to know now if there’s some logistical issue with weather, seasonal closures, accessibility, timing, or something else that would affect your dream day. It’s best to discover these things before making final decisions & booking (in Stage 3).
STAY POSITIVE
Don’t get discouraged if you find that some of the ideas you dreamed up in Stage 1 end up not being feasible. Keep looking for alternatives and enjoy the process of finding “your spot” for your amazing day. Elopements are all about being flexible & spontaneous.
ASK FOR HELP
If you get really stuck, find a guide to help you! Ask friends who have traveled to your dream spot, ask others on social media, contact a local guide company, or contact a local wedding planner. I will also be helping you with custom locations!
During Your Research Make Sure You Consider These Important Logistics
What are the local marriage laws & requirements?
Do you want other people to be there?
How accessible is your site? How will you get there?
What kind of activities do you want to do?
Do you want to do some sort of celebratory meal/drink?
What is the weather like? How do you need to prepare?
How busy/secluded is your chosen ceremony location?
Do you need a permit to a have a ceremony or photos?
Do you want to do a “first Look”?
What vendors do you need? How easy are they to find?
LET’S TALK MARRIAGE LAWS
Marriage Laws Vary By State + Country
You’ll want to make sure you can legally get married, wherever you’re planning to do it. You’ll need to know what paper work you need before and after. Depending on your location, you may need an officiant and witnesses.
But Don’t Let Paperwork Keep You From Having The Day Of Your Dreams!
If the logistics of getting a marriage license signed in the place you intend to elope seem complicated, keep in mind that completing the legal paperwork at home is also an option. You can choose to complete the paper- work before or after your elopement day. By doing this, your day is not affected by paperwork, or where an officiant won’t go, or where you can’t find witnesses.
Remember: You get married on the day you say your vows and commit your life to your partner.
PERMITS + REGULATIONS
LEGALITIES & ETHICS
When narrowing in on the exact spot that you want to say your vows, make sure to consider if it’s legal and ethical to have a wedding ceremony there. There are some locations that have laws or rules against having any type of ceremony, and some places where having a wedding ceremony wouldn’t be appropriate.
DO YOU NEED A PERMIT?
Most public lands and private properties require a permit to have a wedding ceremony. Many also require one for your photographer to photograph there. The general rule is to assume you need permission unless told otherwise— and remember that rules and restrictions can change without notice.
“LEAVE NO TRACE PRINCIPLES”
Make sure to follow all 7 Leave No Trace principles during your outdoor adventure elopement. Leave the gorgeous scenery untouched, and make sure to not travel or have your ceremony on a fragile environment.
WEATHER + SEASONS
HIGH + LOW SEASON
Some locations have a “high” and “low” season which can impact how secluded your elopement location will be. This can also affect local pricing for lodging and food. Contact a local, ranger, or guide for information on when it’s best to visit your location.
WHAT IF THE WEATHER IS BAD?
The first step in avoiding bad weather is by researching beforehand what the average seasonal temperatures, rainfall, cloud cover, and wind are for your chosen area.
If you’re intentionally wanting to go in more of a “shoulder season” or “off season” to avoid the crowds, make sure to research seasonal road and transportation closures that may impact your day. Also check for recurring natural phenomenon like wild fires, floods, landslides, monsoons, typhoons, tornadoes, etc.
There is always a risk or chance of bad weather with an outdoor elopement, so make sure to consider backup locations in the surrounding area and leave flexibility in your schedule and be ready to go with the flow. At the end of the day, getting to marry your love matters most.
ACTIVITIES, CELEBRATION, & FUN
FOOD + DRINKS
Is there a certain meal or type of cuisine that you just have to have on your wedding day? Is there a restaurant you can go to, or should you hire a private chef? If you’re hiking, can you take a picnic with you?
ACTIVITIES - FUN THINGS TO DO
What fun things do you want to be a part of your elopement day? Do you want to soak in a hot spring, go stargazing, ski, play board games, paint, stand up paddle-board, or kayak, etc.?
CHAMPAGNE, CONFETTI, & SPARKLERS
Celebrating is important, but make sure to leave no trace with your activities. Find and pick up that champagne cork, find an eco-friendly confetti option (like local leaves or native wild flower petals)—and look into fire codes and fire bans before planning to light sparklers.
MUSIC
If you want music (live or recorded) to be a part of your day, make sure you plan how you will play it (or have someone play it for you). Also make sure to check if you’re allowed to play amplified music at your location.
OTHER FUN ELOPEMENT IDEAS TO CONSIDER
WRITING JUST MARRIED ON YOUR CAR
BOARD GAMES
PICNIC
HORSE BACK RIDING
TAKING A TOUR
READING LETTERS FROM FRIENDS AND FAMILY
TAKING POLAROID PHOTOS
IF TRAVELING BUYING A RUG OR LOCAL ARTISANS TO HIGHLIGHT THE CEREMONY SPACE
CREATE A MUSIC PLAYLIST TO JAM TOO ON THE DAY OF
BUYING VOW BOOKS OR CREATING YOUR OWN INSTEAD OF READING OFF YOUR PHONE
ALRIGHT! HAVE YOU MADE SOME PROGRESS TO FIND OUT WHAT’S POSSIBLE FOR YOUR ELOPEMENT DAY?
WOOO! YOU’RE WELL ON YOUR WAY TO GETTING MARRIED IN THE MOST INCREDIBLE, INTIMATE, & MEANINGFUL WAY POSSIBLE!
If you’ve had trouble with this stage or feel like you’ve gotten stuck—don’t be afraid to ask for help. It’s worth getting the right support to make your dream elopement day possible—it only comes around once, and you deserve to say your vows in the incredible way that you imagine.
STAGE 3
MAKE CHOICES + START BOOKING
MAKE CHOICES & START BOOKING
Now that you’ve decided what is important to you and you’ve dug deep into research, it’s time to make some choices and start booking things!
The goal of this stage isn’t to finalize every single detail—but to get the most important things into place so you can fill in the details from there (Stage 4).
WHAT TO DECIDE FIRST
PICK YOUR DATE
Is there a meaningful date for the two of you? Does your date work with your dream lodging or location? Does your date work for anyone joining you?
Don’t forget to check for holidays and special events that may also affect your chosen elopement location.
PICK YOUR SPOT
Decide on the general area that you want to have your ceremony. For example: “We want to say our vows on the edge of this canyon, or on top of that mountain, or in this sand dune field.”
The exact spot where you stand to say your vows can still be spontaneous and decided on your day—just be sure about the general area so you can confidently book lodging and transportation.
BOOK NEARBY LODGING + TRANSPORT
BOOK NEARBY LODGING
Check VRBO, Airbnb, Hotels.com, booking.com, google maps, and google to find unique lodging for your elopement. Check Google Maps to find out how long the drive time will be between your lodging and chosen ceremony location. The closer your lodging can be to your ceremony site, the more streamlined your day will be— but for some remote locations, it’s not uncommon for the closest room to be 1-2 hours away.
Consider the amount of space that you’ll need at your lodging: Is it going to be just the two of you? Or are other people coming? If you need multiple lodging spaces, do you want them to be close together? Are you going to do a “first look”? If so, do you need lodging with two rooms so that you two can get ready separately?
BOOK TRANSPORTATION
Once you have booked your lodging and decided on your ceremony location, find out the best way to travel between them. If you have other people coming, do you need multiple rental cars or would a shuttle make more sense? Do you need to reserve ferry crossing tickets or book a helicopter tour? Will any of your locations potentially require a 4WD vehicle? Are you comfortable with 4WD roads? If not, look into hiring a professional 4WD company.
ONE MORE THING,
SHOULD YOU TELL YOUR FAMILY?
If they are not going to be physically present on your elopement day, you can choose to tell your family before- hand or to keep it a surprise.
A fun way to tell your friends & family is to throw a dinner party to announce it. You can show your family & friends photos of your rad elopement location and where you’ll be staying and get them excited about your plans.
If you want to have your family & friends still feel involved, even though you’re eloping, you can ask them to help with the planning process in other ways. Friends & family can help you with dress/suit shopping. They can also throw an engagement party or a reception for you and your partner. They can write letters of love & support for you and your partner to read on your elopement day. Or they can join you on your travels, and celebrate with you before & after your elopement.
Or more recently thanks to COVID, lot’s of couples host a quick zoom meeting to say hello to a lot of friends + family at once.
A great compromise a lot of couples do is to throw a fun dinner party or casual reception after they elope.
Remember this is YOUR day and all of these decisions are entirely up to you and your partner.
OKAY! ARE THE MAIN CORNERSTONES OF YOUR ELOPEMENT DAY SET INTO PLACE?
AWESOME! THE HARDEST PART OF THE PLANNING PROCESS IS DONE! THE REST IS JUST DETAILS.
Once you’ve nailed down your date, location, and booked lodging, the hardest and most pressing parts of your planning process are complete. Take a break to celebrate, tell your family & friends (if you want to), and start getting excited that you’re one step closer to your dream elopement day!
STAGE 4
FINALIZE DETAILS + GET READY
FINALIZE DETAILS & GET READY
Yay! You are in the final stages of your elopement planning process and it’s getting exciting! Stage 4 is all about filling in the details now that you have the main parts of your plan set into place.
WHAT’S THE BEST WAY TO KEEP THINGS ORGANIZED?
There’s a lot of things to keep track of in this stage— so I’ve formatted it like a checklist! I suggest breaking up the many decisions into bite-size pieces. You can set due dates in your calendar, or keep a running to-do list.
PLANNING CHECKLIST & ACCESSORIES
☑ DRESS/SUIT
Bridal shops can be be strict with their timelines and most suggest shopping 6 months in advance with 2-3 fittings before your day, but don’t worry! There are so many great places to buy dresses online or in local stores. Try searching for a “white maxi dress” if you want a gorgeous dress without a wedding price tag. Also, if white isn’t your thing feel free to reach for fun colors.
☑ SHOES
Make sure to wear comfortable shoes with good support and good tread on the soles—if you’re adventuring outside all day this is crucial! A big note: the typical mens dress shoes have absolutely zero tread and are super slippery, be mindful when shopping if you know you will be walking over uneven surfaces!
☑ LAYERS
If your’e eloping somewhere that might be cold or windy, make sure to have fun warm layers that you’d be happy being photographed in. A great tip for keeping warm is buying thermal- skin tone leggings that you can wear underneath your dress.
☑ JEWELRY & ACCESSORIES
Have a safe place to keep rings and verbally designate/confirm who is in charge of bringing them along.
PLANNING CHECKLIST & VENDORS
☑ PHOTOGRAPHER
If you haven’t already booked your dream photographer, make sure to find someone you personally connect with.
☑ HAIR & MAKEUP
Are you doing your hair & makeup yourself or professionally? How will you touch it up?
☑ FLOWERS
Is a bouquet important to you? Can you get one close to your location or do you need to pick one up in a bigger city before you go?
☑ OFFICIANT
Do you need/want an officiant or do you plan to “self-solemnize”?
☑ MUSIC/MUSCIANS
☑ PRIVATE CHEF/CATERING/PICNIC COMPANY
ACTIVITIES + OTHER FUN THINGS
☑ HIKING
If you’re planning to hike to your location, you’ll need to bring some extra items. Find a quality hiking backpack with good weight distribution and comfortable hip belts that will fit everything you plan to bring. If your hike is at sunrise, consider packing your attire in your bag, and changing when you get to your location.
Bring extra layers for the hike up, and for when you’re in your wedding attire. It’s always a good idea to have a trail map, hand warmers, headlamps, sunscreen, bug spray, rain gear, and plenty of food and water.
☑ OTHER FUN THINGS TO DO
Your elopement day can look however you’d like. Whatever your style of adventure is, feel free to consider your favorite activities, whether it’s, kayaking, surfing, swimming, roller-blading, horseback riding, wine tasting, zip-lining, stargazing, going on a hot air balloon ride, maybe it’s even trying something new, or even just sight-seeing or maybe taking a special tour or just hanging out drinking.
Arrange your activities and gather any special gear or additional vendor support you need—like maybe a helicopter pilot, sailboat captain, or special guide?
PLANNING CHECKLIST
CEREMONY + TIMELINE
☑ FINALIZE YOUR CEREMONY
Write your vows, gather any objects that are important to you, and purchase your wedding bands. Plan your ceremony structure, including any readings, and/or cultural or religious elements. Also consider planning a surprise for your partner. Either something special during the ceremony like reading letters from family members, playing a special song, or a surprise gift.
☑ SKETCH YOUR TIMELINE
Make sure you give yourself plenty of time for a relaxed day with no rushing or stressing. Leave room to be spontaneous—some of the best elopement experiences are unplanned. I can help and give suggestions during this part too!
Don’t forget to leave plenty of time to eat, drink, and celebrate!
PLANNING CHECKLIST
1 WEEK BEFORE CHECKLIST
☑GET PACKED
Pack in advance. Make sure you have your rings, vows, and any mementos, and prepare any gifts, letters, or surprises you have for each other. Make sure you are prepared with all clothing accessories, jewelry, shoes, and layers you need.
☑CHECK WEATHER
Check the weather the week before you leave for your trip and make any necessary adjustments. Review your backup plan options for locations just in case.
It’s a great idea to also double check your destination for any recent changes to closures. Give the local ranger another call for peace of mind.
☑FINALIZE YOUR TIMELINE
Review and finalize your elopement day timeline with your vendors.
Make sure you finalize all payments to your vendors and consider how you will tip them.
☑PICK UP YOUR MARRIAGE LICENSE
Pick up your marriage license and any other legal documents, (if required).
☑WHEN YOU ARRIVE
Take care of your body. Help your body acclimate so that you can have the most enjoyable elopement day.
PLANNING CHECKLIST- DAY BEFORE
DAY BEFORE
Relax, take it easy, and make sure you go to bed early. You have an important day ahead of you!
☑ Relax
☑Eat well
☑Drink lots of water
☑Get good sleep
YAY! YOUR ELOPEMENT DAY IS NEARLY HERE!
STAGE 5
HAVE THE BEST ELOPEMENT DAY EVER
HAVE THE BEST ELOPEMENT DAY EVER
Wooo! You made it! All of your hard work brainstorming, researching, and planning is done. All that’s left is to enjoy the heck out of your elopement day.
I hope it is absolutely EVERYTHING you’ve been dreaming of.
HOW TO HAVE THE BEST ELOPEMENT DAY EVER
BE PRESENT WITH YOUR PARTNER AND LET YOUR EMOTIONS FLY
Make sure you soak in every moment and enjoy the time spent together.
Enjoy your relaxed timeline and don’t worry about how you look.
Don’t stress—if you have a great experience together, great photos will follow.
WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU RETURN
TELL YOUR FRIENDS & FAMILY!
Tell your friends and family!(If ya want)
I’ll send over some sneak peaks of the images that you can share with your friends and family!
HAVE A PARTY TO CELEBRATE!
You’re married! Now go celebrate! Have a party, barbecue, dinner, or reception surrounded by your loved ones.
RELIVE THE EXPERIENCE OVER & OVER AGAIN
Once you receive your online image gallery, pour your favorite drink and relive your day. Make sure to print your images! Display your printed photos around your home to remind you of your perfect day.
THERE IS NOTHING BETTER THAN the feeling
of ditching the big wedding stress and making the brave choice to have a wedding day that truly honors & reflects your amazing relationship.
I hope this guide sheds light on planning your elopement and brings you one step closer to your dream day.
IF YOU NEED ANY HELP ALONG THE WAY, I’D BE HAPPY TO HELP!
xx NELLY
NELLY CABANILLAS PHOTOGRAPHY
WWW.NELLYCABANILLAS.COM